I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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