Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
