Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
