yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
