he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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