I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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