apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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