I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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