Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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