i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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