I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
