we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
