So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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