It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
