Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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