I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
