Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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