You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
