i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
