Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
