I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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