I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
