Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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