i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
