I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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