Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
