Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
