Me too!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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