I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
