if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
PANTIES FOUND
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
