Already got asked if we're dating
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
