Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
