dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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