i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
