we made out on top of his cat.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
