So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
