I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
