This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
