I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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