hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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