Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
