omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just puked most of my soul out..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
