so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
