You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
