yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
