at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
