she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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