My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
