Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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