what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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