he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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