theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Never underestimate the power of titties
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
