dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
