did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Someone signed my nipple.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
